Being a mum is the most rewarding thing in my world…but it’s also the MOST challenging thing.

For many years I was very focused on my career, so I always knew that when I had my kids I wanted to be able to do both…. continue working and growing my career & also be there for my kids.

It’s not quite as easy as it sounds…Here’s the six lessons I’ve learnt along the way….

1. The Guilt NEVER Stops

Something happens the moment you become pregnant, you enter the world of “mum-guilt.” It doesn’t go away…ever…. but talking to other mums (the like-minded ones not the super-mum kind) and putting things into perspective does help. I just accept the guilt now, even joke about it. I’ve learnt not to compare and do what’s right for me & my inner sanctum.

2. Quality over Quantity

I used to find it so tough not being able to be there for every milestone or event…. missing school events because I was travelling for work or in the office..…But I’ve since learnt that these moments are not what matters. The moments the kids remember are the intentional moments, the moments, I’m genuinely present with them.

I make it a habit to spend quality one-on-one time with my girls where all devices (including my mobile) get put away and I’m fully present and in the moment with them. These are moments we both remember!!

3. Go for Happy, Not Perfect

I learnt pretty quick that dropping my “display home” standard & gourmet meals cooked from scratch was a must for my sanity and those around me. We’ve mastered quick, healthy meals for during the week (of which we all help out to prepare, including my 13-year-old) and the house is tidy enough....just don’t look too closely.

4. Set Boundaries….it’s ok to say No

How many times have we heard this?!

This one took me some time, as a “previous people-pleaser” & all-round high achiever…but now before answering I remind myself that by saying yes to something or someone, what or who am I’m saying no to. This has made it easier for me to say no more often…and not feel bad about it!

5. Find your people….the like-minded ones…

The best friendships are the ones that understand you….my closest and most trusted friends understand that I may not check in with them every day or even every week given some days I’m struggling to keep my head above water between family commitments and work but I know they’re always a phone call anyway if I need them & they know that I’m always a phone call away if they need me too!!

6. Take Time Out

We can’t do it all & there’s no use trying…., like many mums, I learnt the hard way.

Eat well, exercise and rest…. and taking some me-time to do whatever recharges your batteries (for me it’s quiet time to read & getting some daily exercise in) …. I know that I’m the best version of me when I get this time for myself, so I try really hard to do so. It’s not possible every day but I’m getting better at making it more of a priority.

7. Communication is King

I’m lucky to have an incredible partner, who supports and shares the load. The key to what makes us work is open communication at all times. He can’t read my mind, so rather than expect him to (and get grumpy when he doesn’t), I let him know what I’m thinking and where I need his support & he does the same with me!

- Mel

Women need women in their lives that will support them unconditionally. We can all do our best to support one another whether it’s at work, home life or socially.

Women alone are strong but collectively we can create impact.

“Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” -  Helen Keller

“And unfathomable change can happen when women support each other. In a society where we are often undermined, undervalued and unsupported, we need each other more than ever.” Says Mariah Maddox – editor of Motherly and author.

Here are a few suggestions on how to support the sisters in your life. 

Celebrate each other’s accomplishments

Give your sisters praise for their achievements. Show her that you’re proud!

Celebrating another woman's success will raise her up and empower her. Women rise by lifting each other up.

Show genuine support

Listen to her story so she feels heard and offer honest, positive feedback and support.  

Encourage women to be their best

All women deserve praise and encouragement. Sometimes it only needs to be a few words like ‘great job’ or ‘I really appreciate you’. Words of encouragement boosts confidence.

Be open-minded

No two people are the same. We all have our differences which should be celebrated. Understand that all relationships will have varied dynamics. Also understand we all have things going on in our own lives that we’re not always aware of.

Be vulnerable

Story telling helps us connect. Be vulnerable to share your stories with your sisters and also be open to others being vulnerable with you.

“Every woman’s success should be an inspiration to another, we’re strongest when we cheer each other on.” – Serena Williams